My sister Peggy asked me to blog about how to deal with life’s little curve balls. To be honest, I don’t feel all that down or worried. It is what it is. What’s the use in complaining? I will do what I can (within reason) to treat and deal with the cancer and whatever other illness I have, but it is not going to stop me from living and I am not thinking about it and worrying about it. I am busy living my life every day. (And if you have not noticed, I stay pretty busy!)
I may not be religious, but I have a fairly strong faith in God. When I die, I know I will be going to a better place. It does not bother me and I am not worried. I have found writing this blog to be the best therapy for dealing with my emotions and helping to me to stay positive. Writing gives me time to think out loud and to stand back and consider thesituation. I am truely not worried about myself or what happens to me. I worry most about Yoko and the girls. If I am not here to help and protect them, who is going to do it? It is hard to imagine my family without me in it.
I am relying on having a good mental attitude. I think your mental attitude has a lot to do with how you feel both physically and how you feel about life in general. I try to keep a very positive mental attitude. I decided at the start that I am not going to let a cancer run my life or deter me from doing the things I want to do. I am expecting to have lots of trials as this thing progresses. I just have to be mentally tough and I work on making myself mentally prepared.
Someone wise once told me that I should only worry about this things I can control. I have taken that to heart and I don’t worry about things I can not change. I try to be prepared. Plan for the worst and hope for the best. I am focused on the things I CAN change or make better. Those are the things I do for my family, friends, community and business.
One technique to keep me positive is focusing on how much worse things COULD be and then thanking my lucky stars that things are not THAT bad. I could have developed lung cancer a long time ago when I was down on my luck and unemployed! I could have been diagnosed at a later stage when “cure” would not be possible. I could be dealing with this without proper insurance to pay for my treatment. I could be alone in the world with no family support. I could have lousy doctors. I could have had no positive results from my treatments to date. This could have happened at a time when there was no technology or drugs to deal with it. I could have been disabled by the tumor before it was found. I could have had allergic reactions to the drugs that are saving my life. The list goes on and on. Life can be a lot worse…so be thankful for the blessings you have and appreciate your good luck! If I have shingles or neuropathy and this is as bad as it gets, then I am blessed.
I was speaking with one of my friends tonight. We had a Project Graduation Meeting and after the meeting we went out for some food and a beer.My friend, Debbie, has been dealing with the loss of her husband Dennis, who died in a tragic car accident in last year. He was my age, 52, when he was killed; Deb survived. They had been married 24 year and were still deeply in love, unlike almost any couple I can name. Dennis was a friend of mine from Rotary and a pillar in this community. He was one of the first people I met when we moved to Charlotte County. In fact he was the one that invited me to join Rotary.
The reason I bring Dennis up is that I think about how sudden and unexpected his death was. At least I have a fighting chance to survive and if I don’t …I have time to prepare both physically (I am getting my estate in order) and emotionally. (I try to make it a point to tell my wife and children, family and that I love them. I would not want to die without letting them know how much I love them all!) How lucky am I to be able to prepare this way! I am sure Dennis would have had a lot to say if he knew he was going to die last May.
We are all going to die one day and our life is only for an instant in infinite time. We have to make the most of the time we have on earth. When you have been diagnosed with a terminal disease, you begin to focus more on what your life is or has been about. Lately I have been thinking about how the things we do has a positive impact on people’s lives. Happiness and peace is about fulfillment and satisfaction. I feel very happy because I am fulfilled and satisfied with my life.
Life would not be as much fun if we knew what was coming next. Think of life’s little curve balls for what they are — a challenge that keeps us playing and hopefully enjoying the game. We may hit a home run or strike out. Either way, life will have been fun.